On a philosophical level I agree with everything you said. In most cases in my life I can unconditionally love the person but hate the action, and I can see good in them and hope the actions will not ever happen again.
However, it is much more murky when the actions are so horrendous that you know that person will not be back in the lives of those closest to them because it is unsafe. Then the act of unconditional love is only in my own mind because there is now way to ever demonstrate it to that person.
There are people in my extended family that have done some pretty horrendous things and ended up in prison. Sometimes it was drug addiction related. Other times it was a manifestation of mental illness that is unlikely to change. In both cases, the people are repentant and regret (or even hate) the things they did, but the impact on family members will make it impossible to let that person back in their lives should they get out of prison because it is not safe.
So, in those cases what does my love entail other than remembering them as a child and sending good thoughts for finding a way to live in peace in the future? I am unsure as to what that love does for the person as we cannot see each other. I am unsure of the connection of light and dark in the realm unconnected to religion. I am unsure if eventually it will result in just forgetting.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comments, Maggie. I do believe that we are energetically connected. "The Intention Experiment" by Lynne M. Taggart shares research that showed that prayers sent to/about someone unknown to the person sending the prayers did have a positive affect. So because of that and my own personal experience, I believe if I hold the person in the light of love it helps that person. It doesn't make the past go away and it doesn't make them safe to be around. It does help us because I know negative feelings and hate towards others tears at us and weakens or hurts.
The Dalai Lama teaches about "wise compassion" and it is a concept and practice I'm working to integrate into my life. I do have compassion for people who engage in horrific actions because I do not believe they were born that way. And if I'm wrong and they are born with those thoughts that lead to their action, how horrific a life they must have lived. That's where I can feel compassion for them. I can forgive them because that is more about me than them. But, I do not forget what they are capable of and I do not pretend it couldn't happen again.
As always, a thoughtful and wise response. Thank you for sharing the words and thoughts of Lynn Target and the Dalai Lama. They are good things to remember.
On a philosophical level I agree with everything you said. In most cases in my life I can unconditionally love the person but hate the action, and I can see good in them and hope the actions will not ever happen again.
However, it is much more murky when the actions are so horrendous that you know that person will not be back in the lives of those closest to them because it is unsafe. Then the act of unconditional love is only in my own mind because there is now way to ever demonstrate it to that person.
There are people in my extended family that have done some pretty horrendous things and ended up in prison. Sometimes it was drug addiction related. Other times it was a manifestation of mental illness that is unlikely to change. In both cases, the people are repentant and regret (or even hate) the things they did, but the impact on family members will make it impossible to let that person back in their lives should they get out of prison because it is not safe.
So, in those cases what does my love entail other than remembering them as a child and sending good thoughts for finding a way to live in peace in the future?
I am unsure as to what that love does for the person as we cannot see each other. I am unsure of the connection of light and dark in the realm unconnected to religion. I am unsure if eventually it will result in just forgetting.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comments, Maggie. I do believe that we are energetically connected. "The Intention Experiment" by Lynne M. Taggart shares research that showed that prayers sent to/about someone unknown to the person sending the prayers did have a positive affect. So because of that and my own personal experience, I believe if I hold the person in the light of love it helps that person. It doesn't make the past go away and it doesn't make them safe to be around. It does help us because I know negative feelings and hate towards others tears at us and weakens or hurts.
The Dalai Lama teaches about "wise compassion" and it is a concept and practice I'm working to integrate into my life. I do have compassion for people who engage in horrific actions because I do not believe they were born that way. And if I'm wrong and they are born with those thoughts that lead to their action, how horrific a life they must have lived. That's where I can feel compassion for them. I can forgive them because that is more about me than them. But, I do not forget what they are capable of and I do not pretend it couldn't happen again.
As always, a thoughtful and wise response. Thank you for sharing the words and thoughts of Lynn Target and the Dalai Lama. They are good things to remember.